Chaplaincy studies lesson 16

I have had two people who have been instrumental in shaping my spiritual world. One is a man who I still speak to today. Another was a woman who I have lost touch with (she would be very old by now).  Both played extremely important roles in my life and will never be forgotten. These two individuals saw me through difficult times in different ways. The man was the voice of experience. The woman was the voice of understanding. 

In my own ministry, as you have suggested, men move in and out of my life. I might know a man for a single visit, weeks, months or, if I am fortunate, years. One such man comes to mind as a friend for over twenty years now. Sometimes it seems like just yesterday he was at a turning point and came to me for help. We do not get to speak as often as we would like but when we do it is a joyous occasion.  I've watched his childhood grow to adulthood and start their own journeys.  It is a privilege to have been an instrument in his life. His wife, from Mexico, affectionately calls me his "padrino", the Spanish word for godfather (I think). 

I have always tried to keep my relationships with the men I work with on equal footing. That is neither of us is closer to God. I am just a servant who makes the introduction and gives counsel along the way. 

Chaplaincy studies lesson 15

Most of the men I work with are non-religious and are making their first pass to living a spiritual life. While I can see where a chaplain serving people  of a given faith would possibly be more effective with religious icons/symbols in a meeting space  religious symbols would be off-putting to most of the men I work with.

I have met with men in everything from conference rooms to living rooms and even garages. Whatever the space may be it is made sacred by inviting a Higher Power into the room through prayer. Quite often even this is a new experience for those I serve.

I have never led a service nor do I expect I will be called to do so. However I have led many spiritual meetings that begin and end with a non-denominational prayer. These meetings are made up of those with diverse faiths including agnostics who have yet to find a faith to rely upon. Our requirements are few and simple. In most cases we have a room with a podium and seating and there are cases in which we have neither. For example during the current pandemic we meet in a park. There are no walls, no podium and no seating unless people bring lawn chairs or blankets. Newer men and women find this informality inviting.

Chaplaincy studies lesson 12

Write a short paragraph of how you might improve your counseling ministry and what resources are available to you.

My skills could be improved with a greater understanding of different religions. While most of the men  I work with  are not religious all are working to improve their spiritual life.  Some, over time, do become members of a congregation, temple or mosque. It would be helpful to me to have at least a working knowledge of their chosen faith. After I finish the Chaplaincy studies program I will probably jump into some comparative religion texts or courses.

Chaplaincy studies lesson 10

In what seems like another lifetime I was a massage therapist.  Every year I would donate my time and services to the American Cancer Society's Relay for Life, a 24 hour walking relay in which the participants are sponsored with all money going to the ACA.  I offered five minute massages to the participants. My booth stayed busy well into the early morning hours of the next day. Needless to say by the end of the event I was  physically exhausted but the rewards made it all worthwhile. 

Nearly all the participants were being treated for cancer or were related to someone who was undergoing treatment.  On more than one occasion as soon as I started to work the participant would shed tears. These were not tears of sorrow, they were tears of release. For these people it was the first touch they had experienced in a very long time. 

I appreciate the caution given in this lesson. Things are indeed different today than they were when I was young. People have become more sensitive.  I no longer offer any more contact than a handshake and even that is brief.  I will engage in the occasional hug but only when the other person initiates it.  As of today even holding hands during prayer has become an issue out of health reasons and it may be some time before this changes.  

 

Chaplaincy studies lesson 8

 

I am not a chaplain but I may have experience in two positions that seem relevant to this week's lesson.  

I worked on my community's crisis hotline in two capacities; I was on the phone with callers and I served on the board of directors in charge of seeing that our "listeners" received regular training updates and continuing education.

As a listener I had but a precious few minutes to develop trust and rapport with a caller in crisis. Doing so requires certain skills that cannot be learned by reading or listening to a lecture. What works for one individual may not work for another. A few carefully selected words spoken in kindness at the appropriate time can melt any icy block standing in the way of a meaningful conversation. A listener learns what works through their own experience and develops an intuition.  

As a member of the board I naturally had to learn the rules. I had to gain the trust of the other members and with the other listeners.  

As for confidentiality. I lived and worked in a duty to report state. Because callers were anonymous (pre cellphone/caller ID days) If a caller revealed a serious possibility of being a danger to themselves or others (especially minors) I then had to work at getting the caller to reveal their identity and/or location. Fortunately for all of my hours on the phone cases like these were few and far between. I found it best to explain the duty to report up front with the caller. I encouraged other listeners to do the same.